Hello Josef!

So Ireland, huh? That's pretty sweet. I'm super excited for you and whoever gets to escort you across the pond. I'm really not sure how to make myself the most appealing candidate for the job but I had a blast working on my submission at any rate.

First, a limerick for you (because haikus are not geographically appropriate):

There once was a girl named Alexis,
Who suffered from magnetotaxis*.
She thought Ireland was her home,
So she wrote this little poem
Which follows the rules of syntaxis.

*Magnetotaxis is defined as the movement of an organism in response to the magnetic field of its origin.

Also, I have this picture for you. Its you and me, our respective drinks, on Ireland (with its hue-perfect flag in the background):


see?

Other than that, you know me pretty well. I could use the vacation, I can drink just about anyone under the table, and I can pee faster than a boy.

Good luck choosing and please tell Mr. Barry hi for me (I've been a fan of his since "Naked Came the Manatee").

Love,
Alexis