Due to the difficulty I will no doubt be faced with in trying to determine a winner for this contest, I've asked two special celebrity "guest advisors" to help me out!

The following celebrity guest advisors will be narrowing down the essay submissions to get us one step closer to having you join me in Ireland:

Jake Smith, staff writer for City-Link Magazine. Jake first gained attention while helming Florida Atlantic University's very own college newspaper— the University Press— and quickly established himself (and the paper) as one of the best in the nation. Later, he went on to help establish the nightlife/culture/fashion magazine, Six Degrees: Miami. After a stint reporting for the nationally-acclaimed Miami New Times, Jake now writes for South Florida's premiere alternative weekly, City-Link. As a professional journalist, Jake will be looking for essays written with structure, effective use of stylistic devices, and all the other shit you forgot learned after years of taking English classes in school.

Dave Barry, best-selling author, comedian, and nationally-syndicated humor columnist with a Pulitzer Prize. Formerly with The Miami Herald, Dave won his first Pulitzer Prize for Commentary in 1988. In addition to his column, he wrote numerous books and novels, with two of them made into Hollywood movies (like Big Trouble, starring Tim Allen, Johnny Knoxville, and Janeane Garofalo). A funnyman who has appeared on "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson", "ESPN SportsCentury", and CBS's "Dave's World" sitcom among his many film and television appearances, Dave knows a thing or two about comedy— and he'll be looking for essays that utilize captivating story-telling techniques, humor/parody, and quirky personality... Just like his own writing.

Both guest advisors will be offering recommendations to me based on the essay submissions; however, I will be solely responsible for choosing a winner.

So, you now have less than five days (and less than five-hundred words) to persuade me— and our celebrity guest advisors— to pick you to join me on this trip of a lifetime.

Send your entry now! irelandwithjosef.essay@blogger.com!